Category Archives: Violence Against Women

Sticks and Stones……..B.S.!

Sticks and Stones…..B.S.!

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me……Bull!  There are no bruises or swollen cheeks to be seen….its all hidden away.  Verbal Abuse is something that is overlooked far more often than it should be.  Most of the time people who are in abusive relationships rarely see the abuse for what it is.  Many times it is “justified” because “they had a bad day” or “they just were just raised that way.”  We have discussed violence in our class but often verbal abuse leads to physical abuse.  Whether it actually leads to physical abuse or not the emotional damage is the same.  There are a lot of resources if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.  Below is a check list, it may sounds strange to need a check list but opening the eyes to see the abuse is almost half of the battle. 

 

Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call, text, or email you several times a day or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don’t want to do?
____ Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?

Additional information here:

Image found here:

Checklist found here:

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Female Mutilation

Image taken from Google.com.

 There is an issue of women’s body parts being removed. We have women adding body parts, we have women taking body parts away here in America by way of plastic surgery. However, in some parts of the world, it’s not such a rosy picture. Some women have their clitoris removed. Some do it willingly not understanding how it will affect them later in life, some don’t do it willingly. Some say this is violence against women, some say this is a religious/ cultural belief in certain parts of the world and that it should be respected. It is still changing your body in some way that is not natural and is not what or how you were born.

Read here.

If male circumcision were as painful as what these women endure and if it affected men more, I somehow wonder if the issue would be stamped out more quickly?

Teen Recounts Horror of Abduction Into Sex Slavery

For someone who’s only 18, Shauna Newell is remarkably composed as she describes being kidnapped, drugged, gang-raped and savagely beaten.

It is only when she talks about seeing one of the men who sexually assaulted her — free and unafraid of being prosecuted — that she starts to break down.

Read full article here.

This story is truly disturbing. At 16 years old, Shauna was drugged, repeatedly rapped, beaten, and sold for $3000 on the internet. After much convincing from her daughter, Shauna’s mother agreed into allowing Shauna to stay the night with a friend. This friend was the one that lead Shauna into this dangerous situation that almost cost Shauna’s life.

These horrific incidents that Shauna experienced at such a young age, has negatively affected this young girl. The video illustrates the pain and psychological problems, she continues to experience.

That’s Not Cool

                                                                                                                                                    

Image from here   

That’s Not Cool

I found a couple of great websites to help teenagers deal with abusive relationships. With all the technology available today girls are getting bullied in multiple ways. They can be constantly monitored by text messages and many do not realize the effects of sending nude pictures to their boyfriends.

For information about abuse in teenage relationships view this website.

View That’s Not Cool Website here

 

 

Isn’t Time Someone Called CUT?!

Picture retrieved from here.

YouTube Video retreived from here.

I really really enjoyed this YouTube video.  When I first was saw it I was not quite sure what was going on. You think she is promoting an ad of a new movie….until she looks straight into the camera and says that(his punch) was not part of the script. I think that this video does a good job advocating to stop violence against women and domestic violence. The line at the end of the video states “isn’t it time someone called cut?” This is totally true. When is violence against women going to end? Why do men feel the need to engage in this type of behavior? Women do no need to fall in the cycles of violence.  Let’s end violence against women!!!

Putting An End To Street-Based Sexual Harassment In New York

 

This article explains how Hollaback!, a group in New York, is attempting to band together and end harassment of individuals in public places.  The idea of “giving Piropos” is disgusting and a thinly veiled attempt at normalizing verbal sexual harassment.  I really like the idea of the cell phone app, and calling out for everyone’s help as a duty in public places, like the lady on the subway.

A Dress is NOT a Yes. SlutWalk Protests

 

I can remember in the second grade I was on the daycare bus and one of the fourth graders called me a slut. I remember going home that night, and asking my mom “Mommy, what is a slut?” She looked into my big blue 7-year-old eyes and said “Where in the world did you hear that word?” I told her how the girls at daycare always call people that and she told me “That just means its a mean girl who wears a lot of makeup.” I remember in 6th grade when I was part of the “mean girl” scene and thinking, wait a minute, we all wear makeup and we are mean girls, we must be sluts. In high school the word is thrown around thousands of times a day and it still makes me cringe. I have never become numb to this word, it is a terrible thing to say. This article discusses the word slut and the SlutWalk protests.

 

“The SlutWalk protests were born out of anger at the words of one Toronto policeman, who earlier this year told a group of students that if women want to avoid being “victimized,” they should avoid “dressing like sluts.” Cut to a few months later, and protests against this kind of reasoning – that it’s women’s responsibility to avoid rape, rather than men’s responsibility not to commit rape – are being held all over the world. SlutWalks were recently held in Los Angeles, Chicago, Sydney, and Cardiff, Wales. Soon, Edinburgh, New York, Johannesburg and Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan will follow suit.”

This policemans words made me cringe, regardless of what a woman is wearing she is NEVER “asking” to be raped or victimized. If I walked around butt naked 24/7 that does not mean I deserve to be raped. And it’s funny how the way a man dresses is almost NEVER correlated with his “sluttiness.” Men are expected to go shirtless a majority of the time, and if they walked outside in their boxers nobody would say a peep, but if a girl is wearing a dress that shows the body she’s proud of, she is “asking” to be raped??!?!?! Are we kidding people?!!!!

(The poster says: SEX is something people do TOGETHER, NOT something you do TO someone else!)

I can not help but constantly wonder why a girls “sluttiness” is one of the main things we are concerned about and judgemental about, but a mans sluttiness is his biggest prize, and he is praised and high-fived for it. Men are allowed to have sex for fun, because SEX IS FUN. But women who have sex for fun are sluts and deserve to be raped?! I am appaled.

Domestic Violence Cemetery

Image here

This is an ad taken from Amnesty International for anit-domestic violence against women. The bottom left says “three out of five women are beaten, raped, humiliated, mutilated.” When I came across this advertisement I really felt the severity of this issue. It depicts just how many women fall victim to this type of assault and are killed by it. This “cemetary” of victims is a good representation of the women who maybe did not have the help they needed, or were simply unaware of what was heading their way. It is saddening to see this but really opens my eyes.

Victim self blame after abuse.

Photo from HERE

Its hard to convince women who have been abused that the abuse was not their fault. Many women feel shame and embaresment after abuse and it’s a trend that our society is perpetuating with victim blame and using language like maybe she deserved it.

The most devastating toll is the self-abuse that evolves out of being abused. Children think they deserve the abuse, and they turn on themselves. Instead of learning how to live intimately and at one with themselves, in keeping with the integrity they were born with, they are at war with themselves, violating themselves and their integrity. They learn to say to themselves the abusive words and phrases that have been directed at them. They form their self-image around the unworthiness and inadequacy that the hostile messages from others defined them as: stupid, ugly, and bad. They feel not wanted, not deserving and not good. They are diminished, often depressed, and always damaged. There is no limit to the emotional toll of abuse. It destroys a child’s sense of well-being, strips away its sense of worth, and leaves it as a violated shell, unable to recover from the onslaught of abuse without believing, on some level, that they deserve it.

If the child is a girl, she is particularly vulnerable to these assaults. Gender roles are still quite clear that boys are to get angry when attacked and should fight back, while girls get hurt and cry, and should look for someone else to protect them. Unfortunately, for abused girls, there is either no one to protect them or they think there’s no one who will protect them. So, if she can’t break out of the gender role, a girl is trapped by the abuse and the abuser. She tries to please, hoping that if she’s a “good girl” she won’t be abused. When that doesn’t work, she begins to doubt her worth. Certainly if she knew how to do it right, “goodness” would protect her. Or so goes the myth. Since she can’t and it doesn’t, then she concludes that she is not good enough, she is bad, unworthy, deserving of the abuse. That is emotional toll.

Complete story here

We Can Help Make a Difference!!!!!!!!

image found here

1st World Conference of Women’s Shelters

The 1st World Conference of Women’s Shelters was held September 8-11, 2008 in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. It was the first time family violence prevention workers in Canada and around the world came together to network, to share proven innovations, and to learn from international experts and each other.

The 2nd World Conference of Women’s Shelters will take place February 27 – March 1, 2012 in Washington, DC. The conference will bring together grassroots activists and advocates working on ending violence against women.

Come and join this amazing, unique conference and be a part of a global effort to end violence against women.

more…

I liked this website because it gives everyone the opportunity to make a difference in the fight against the violence against women. I would have loved to have been at the conference to see that many people wanting a positive change in the way that many women are treated. Anyone with any interest on the violence that women face can get more information by visiting the site, or by attending the conference next year, if possible.