Author Archives: lharmon3

Sticks and Stones……..B.S.!

Sticks and Stones…..B.S.!

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me……Bull!  There are no bruises or swollen cheeks to be seen….its all hidden away.  Verbal Abuse is something that is overlooked far more often than it should be.  Most of the time people who are in abusive relationships rarely see the abuse for what it is.  Many times it is “justified” because “they had a bad day” or “they just were just raised that way.”  We have discussed violence in our class but often verbal abuse leads to physical abuse.  Whether it actually leads to physical abuse or not the emotional damage is the same.  There are a lot of resources if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.  Below is a check list, it may sounds strange to need a check list but opening the eyes to see the abuse is almost half of the battle. 

 

Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call, text, or email you several times a day or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don’t want to do?
____ Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?

Additional information here:

Image found here:

Checklist found here:

Advertisements

“That Girl Crystal” A Vicious Cycle

 

 

 

“That Girl Crystal” A Vicious Cycle

“That Girl Crystal” is a song written by Matt Martindale on the all too devastating reality of meth use and addiction.  If you haven’t heard it I suggest that you go onto itunes and listen.

Meth use in women has grown at a rapid rate in the United States.  Most women start out using it because of it’s perceived weight loss benefits, burst of energy or because a partner introduces them to it.  It is a shame that in order to keep up with the mythical status of motherhood that some mothers choose this route.  Many women feel guilty because they aren’t achieving what is expected and begin to use this as a means to make up for it.  What happens is a terrible cycle that is mostly only broken by jail time or death.  Many mother’s who want to seek help will not go to treatment centers because they are afraid of loosing their children, so things only get worse.  There is so much to be said on women and meth use but one word sums it up….help.  As a society we need to ask ourselves why there is such a pressure to be the perfect mom, student, wife or girlfriend that so many women turn to addictions and what can we do to help break this cycle.  There are tons of resources out there if you or someone you know is suffering from this terrible addiction and I encourage you to see what you can do to help.  We have to stop this.

Photo 1 taken from here.  Photo 2 taken from here.

Video 1 taken from here. Video 2 taken from here.

Great sources on treatment programs can be found here and here.

Sex and the City: “Being a Mother Kicks Your ___!”

 

 

Sex and the City: “Being a Mother Kicks Your ___!”

Miranda: “Being a mother kicks your ___.“”

Whether you chose motherhood or motherhood chose you, if you are a mom, then you know it isn’t glamorous.  Between being a mom and having a career that demanded 70-80 hours a week, there just wasn’t time to watch T.V. and I often felt like I was in a social black hole.   I never “followed” Sex and the City, mostly because of my lack of time, but I remember seeing this movie when it came out on a weekend that my son was at his dad’s.  When this scene appeared…I flat out teared up!

My son is the most precious thing that God has blessed me with in my whole life.  But struggling to keep your sanity and figure out who you are; now that your identity has changed from Ms. Got-it-together to Ms. Mommy-doesn’t-have-a-clue while keeping a smile on your face is somewhat challenging.  I identified.  No, I may not have handled it the same way that the mothers in this clip reacted but I feel that any mother understands the point that was meant to come across.  In our class we have talked about how society views mothers and how often women feel guilty of going back to work, going back to work and enjoying it, enjoying alone time, and feeling overwhelmed.  Most of the time mother’s don’t feel comfortable talking about such things, because “good mothers are kind, patient, and have it together.” It’s nice to know that feeling guilty about time at the office, or that you aren’t the perfect mom is ok.

I feel that being a mom is the best challenge and blessing that God has ever presented me with. Children aren’t going to remember that you forgot to pack their favorite socks to their dad’s or grandma’s…what they will remember is a mom who loves them and did their very best.  While I don’t recommend alcohol as a way to deal with the pressures of motherhood (as is shown in this clip) there are many ways to keep things in perspective.  I have listed a website below that provides helpful stress relief tips and remember that there is always help and encouragement if you look for it.

Stress Relief Tips here.

Movie Clip retrieved from here.

Quote retrieved from here.

 

 

I Just Can’t Fake it Anymore!

I Just Can’t Fake it Anymore!

While friendly and well-meaning, she often gets distracted while a classmate is talking to her. She misses the other person’s social cues, and doesn’t respond in a desirable manner. Boys tend to be more direct with each other and resolve their conflicts more openly, so a boy with AD/HD doesn’t require the same set of social skills. A girl who is both impulsive and inattentive is likely to commit many social blunders.

Mothers often expect their daughters to conform to the standards of society by being especially thoughtful, polite and compliant. If a girl has AD/HD, this can be a difficult goal to attain.” 

I always made very good grades in school, was super active with different organizations, and always had a smile on my face.  I was good had hiding the fact that something was wrong…I just didn’t know what it was.  I was always messy, always loosing things (in fact, I could get into my truck faster with a coat hanger than with my keys…I timed it), super clumsy, and always said the wrong thing at the wrong time.   It wasn’t until my Sr. of college (when my grades were bottoming out because I couldn’t fake it anymore) that I was diagnosed with severe ADHD.  I would sit down to study or do an assignment and I couldn’t get my thoughts together.  It was almost like torture when you know you have to do something but…….can’t.  When I found out I cried with relief.  Relief that it wasn’t just me, there was a reason and help.  Looking back at my childhood, teachers should have known.  I had obvious signs with the exception that I wasn’t a boy.

In a study conducted by a national survey 82% of teachers thought that ADHD was more common in boys. It isn’t until recently that more research is being done on the differences in ADHD in boys and girls.  Girls with ADHD behave differently than boys and the consequences of being un-diagnosed can be very serious.

Some feel that ADHD isn’t a real disorder but rather something that is just in their lack of focusing skills.  ADHD is very real.

To find additional information on ADHD and women, make sure that you go to reputable sites such as the links that I’ve listed below.

http://www.ncgiadd.org or http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb03/adhd.aspx

Quote retrieved from here.

Photo retrieved from here.

Sending Mom to the Chop Shop

Sending Mom to the Chop Shop

“Breast augmentations increased 55% from 2000 to 2006, going from 212,500 procedures to 329,326.  Breast lifts — another favorite among the mommy makeover crowd — went up 96% during the past six years, with the total number of procedures going from 52,836 to 103,788.  Tummy tucks jumped a whopping 4,384% and buttock lifts increased 174%.” For more on this article click link below.

A major trend is the “Mommy Make Over” and to me it is sad that so many women (myself included) are asshamed of their bodies after such a wonderful and life chaning event as childbirth.  Having my son was the bet thing that I ever did and I have the strech marks and tummy to prove it.   Why should the aftermath of such a wonderful event be embarrising?  What is causing these increases in the “Mommy Make Over”?  The images that we are bombarded with via media are so unrealistic that it’s almost comical if it wasn’t such a serious topic.  In many countries the signs that a woman has had a child is an honor.   Why can’t it be here and what can we do to fix it?

Image retreved from here.

Read more on this artical here.

Tractors, Wrenches, and National Champions…..

Tractors, Wrenches, and National Champions…..

When you think of tractors and shop class in high school what images come to your mind?  If the picture above isn’t somewhere in there you are out of date!  In 2008 the Decatur, Texas FFA team entered and won the National Tractor Restoration Competition.  The awesome thing about this Decatur Tractor Team……everyone of the members were female!!  Extremely amazing but extremely sad at the same time.  How long have tractors been a vital part of American Industry and Agriculture and why is it that an all girl tractor team is just now winning a competition on a national level?  Growing up in a rural town and being female normally means that you are directed toward a homemaking class (and yes they still have them) and not even asked about taking shop classes or agricultural classes. 

By indirectly railroading female high school students, they are missing out on potential talents and great opportunities just because they are female.  Just as a homemaking class is useful to both male and female students so is the shop, welding, or agricultural class for both sexes.  I mean really, who wouldn’t want to learn how to make awesome brownies and fix their car!   I know that I missed out on that opportunity but the next generations shouldn’t have to.  No matter what the gender of a student, skills are skills and should be encouraged to all students.  

Congratulations Decatur! 

There is more awesome information on this team and their story found  here and here!

Team Image was found here.

Two Member Team Image was found here.

Sex and…….Chocolate?

Sex and……..Chocolate?

Sultry, rich, decadent…..It’s chocolate for crying out loud!

This commercial shows how the typical chocolate commercial disrespectfully misrepresents it’s demographic.  Ever notice how most chocolate commercials have women enjoying chocolate as if they were enjoying sex?  Most of these commercials portray a beautiful young woman putting a piece of chocolate in her mouth in a way that would make a Hershey Kiss blush.  There are very few advertisements for chocolate that show men in the same type of role.  Personally, I can’t think of one.  Do men not eat chocolate?  I’m not expecting someone like Larry the Cable Guy to start prancing around in a dark brown silk sheet but seriously…….

Why do chocolate companies present chocolate, like the commercial embedded above, almost as a sex substitute and usually portrayed by women?

Image retrieved from here